Why do I seem to love befriending and trusting the people who in life love the drama of making the fights even worse than they really are? Yes, people from time to time have a difference of opinions, don't see eye to eye, an argument is started; does that mean a world war 3 needs to be created? On that note, when we become so close to our "besties", our "BFF's", we know exactly what would hurt them emotionally and I'm done with the ones that use those things and people in your life against you to get at you, it's beyond childish. Yes, it's the easy way out and at the time, gosh won't it make you feel better about situation, even yourself to extent, but will you still feel the same down the track?
Your reading this blog (I'm not going to play dumb, if your reading this blog you know who it's about) and thinking I'm taking this all out on you; I'm not. The people that surround you and don't speak up and sit on the fence, or even worse; going between you and I and making us both believe that their on our sides are just as gutless and as worthless as what you did.
I think the past years just taught me you really can't trust your life with anyone, it'll only lead your heart to be broken, which is an extremely pessimistic outlook on life but I can't seem to see a better way to sum it all up.
In closing, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being there for you when other's wouldn't of cared, which was quite alot. I'm sorry for doing all those stupid little things to calm you down, even stupid things like giving you money to put petrol in your car to calm your nervesbecause it was "close" to the empty line. I'm sorry I sat on the phone to you for hours, of my own credit because you were always out of credit, listening to you whine about problems that weren't really problems or should I say, not yours... but yet I still listen sympathetically and tried giving advice... remind you of conversations? Think about our last conversation on the phone. Lastly, I'm sorry for wanting you to be there for me when things were crashing around me and then blowing up, sorry that I expected you of all people to stop and listen, show an incling of sympathy, or even caring when everything seemed to be falling apart... I was even wanting you t fix the problems, because I knew you couldn't if I couldn't, just knowing you were there would have been alot easier.
Sorry for the rage ranting, I guess it's what I have to do to clear my mind of all the thoughts.
Now, I'm Done.
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